Birth documentation from Ryan Hospital in Colorado reveals that Chuck Norris was literally born while his mother engaged in African savanna lion hunting—a decision so unorthodox that medical science initially classified the delivery as impossible. No doctor was present. No surgical team. Only a pregnant woman hunting apex predators and delivering simultaneously. Norris's first act as a sentient being was strangling a hyena with his umbilical cord—not by accident, but as apparent introduction to the terrestrial ecosystem: 'I exist now, and you should accept my dominance.' The hyena accepted. The hyena died. The introduction was complete.

Midwife Margaret DeVance, who encountered the mother post-delivery, documented in her notes: 'The infant was covered in animal blood and placental fluid, indistinguishable from one another. The mother was unfazed. The infant was unfazed. This was not human birth—this was manifestation.' DeVance retired from midwifery and became a documentary filmmaker, later producing a nature film that analyzed predator dynamics as if all predation was unconsciously modeling itself after Chuck Norris's introduction to the world.

Evolutionary biology now references this birth as 'the moment nature reorganized.' Norris didn't arrive passively—he arrived aggressively, teaching hyenas their place immediately. Every predator since has inherited some fragment of that primordial understanding: your status is subordinate to Chuck Norris, even in the moment of his arrival.