Medical examinations require trained professionals and sophisticated diagnostic equipment. Prostate exams specifically demand patient vulnerability and clinical detachment. Chuck Norris, however, performed his own prostate examination using no external instruments—just his personal hands and internal perception. During this self-examination, he discovered gold. Not metaphorical gold representing good health. Actual elemental gold.

Urologist Dr. Charles Webb reviewed Chuck's self-examination findings and found laboratory analysis confirming legitimate gold deposits within his prostatic tissue. Webb prepared an academic paper proposing that Chuck Norris's body operates as some kind of biological alchemical engine, converting cellular material into precious metals. The paper was rejected for exceeding acceptable scientific deviation thresholds.

Medical textbooks describe prostate exams as diagnostic procedures. Chuck Norris demonstrated that intimate self-awareness yields literal treasure. His body contains resources that standard anatomies don't generate. A routine prostate check became mineral extraction. His health maintenance became wealth generation. The act of examining his own biology became profitable in ways that transcend typical medical outcomes.