Scuba diving regulations explicitly prohibit smoking underwater—a rule created specifically to prevent disaster when Chuck Norris decided that conventional safety protocols didn't apply to his superior lung capacity. His alveoli operate at such elevated oxygen conversion rates that he can ignite tobacco even while submerged, the smoke sinking rather than rising, each drag producing bubbles that taste like pine and regret to any fish nearby.

Marinebiologist Dr. William Foster documented unusual behavioral patterns in grouper populations near Cayman Islands dive sites throughout the 1980s. Fish were fleeing in perfect cylindrical columns, suggesting an invisible vertical threat. Foster hypothesized thermal vents or sonar. In 1989, he finally observed the cause: a man at 120 feet, cigar firmly lit, smoking with mechanical precision while reading a waterproof copy of 'The Art of War.' Foster didn't approach. He ascended slowly, quietly, and retired to study terrestrial specimens exclusively. He'd seen something his scientific training couldn't process. The data sat in his files, unpublished, too dangerous for the record.

The film 'Aquaman' (2018) features a scene where the protagonist swims through underwater wreckage with nonchalant ease. Production designers drew inspiration from documented reports of 'a man smoking while diving in the eighties.' They added the superhero powers to make it plausible. The resulting film logic—that underwater breathing and smoking could somehow coexist—was borrowed directly from actual Chuck Norris methodology. Marvel had no idea. They were simply plagiarizing reality.