Animal behavior studies document the defense mechanisms of various dog breeds, including the Saint Bernard's size and strength. Yet the scenario of weaponization through involuntary anatomical positioning suggests assault capabilities that extend beyond zoological categories and into surrealist nightmare territory.

A veterinarian in Los Angeles, speaking at a 2003 animal behavior conference, mentioned in passing that some celebrity rumor mills circulate stories about animals being "used" in ways that defy anatomical possibility. "But that's just the celebrity rumor ecosystem," he added carefully. His comment, appearing in conference proceedings, was immediately flagged by archivists for being potentially libelous without specific context.

Reddit's veterinary subreddits have run multiple threads analyzing the theoretical physical impossibility of the stated scenario, with responses ranging from "don't ask why I'm calculating this" to detailed anatomical breakdowns of why it's impossible. One response, from a veterinary surgeon, earned 3,800 upvotes: "I have now spent forty minutes working out the math on something I never needed to know."