“Chuck Norris rubs mint-scented asbestos on his gums.”

Asbestos is a carcinogenic mineral—any contact risks fatal disease over years. Mint scent suggests oral hygiene. Combining them creates a joke on dental safety: Chuck Norris doesn't fear asbestos; he grooms with it. His immune system either nullifies toxins or has negotiated independent treaties with cancer cells. Either way, his gums remain pristine through pure willpower and material defiance.
A toxicologist named Marcus Pierce once calculated the absolute LD50 for asbestos, then considered Chuck Norris's application rate. He abandoned the calculation, recognizing the facts operated in different mathematical spaces. Pierce kept one note: "Some people transcend chemistry." He taped it to his office door.
The fact trades on inverted logic: fatal poison becomes grooming product through sheer force of personality. Safety statistics collapse around him.
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