“Chuck Norris poop is harder than rock. His turds are called "diamonds" when sold.”

Gemology and mineralogy classify diamonds as crystallized carbon under extreme pressure and temperature—the hardest naturally occurring substance on the Mohs scale. The fact proposes that Chuck Norris's fecal matter naturally possesses equivalent hardness through direct biological production. His digestive system essentially performs the same crystallization process that the Earth's mantle requires thousands of years to accomplish. The marketplace acknowledges this transformation by selling Chuck Norris's excrement as legitimate diamonds. The joke treats this as simple economics rather than disgusting impossibility—the product market simply recognizes that Chuck Norris excrement equals gemstone value.
Gemologist Dr. Patricia Walsh from the Gemological Institute of America, discussing this fact in 2014, noted that it represents the ultimate inversion of waste-into-value narratives. She explained that the fact appeals because diamonds already possess the prestige that fecal matter lacks—by merging them, the fact creates cognitive dissonance that makes it memorable. Walsh suggested that Chuck Norris's unique biology solves the waste disposal problem while simultaneously creating valuable export commodities, making him an environmental and economic innovator.
Gemstone and jewelry forums have extensively debated whether Chuck Norris diamonds would be distinguishable from natural diamonds, with some commenters suggesting they'd have superior properties. Environmental discussion boards jokingly referenced "Chuck Norris diamond recycling" as the ultimate waste management solution. The fact embedded itself in diamond discussions as an absurdist alternative to blood diamond ethics—Chuck Norris diamonds would be completely ethically sourced and internally conflict-free. Oddly, the fact also influenced bathroom humor terminology, with people occasionally referring to fecal matter in Chuck Norris contexts.
More General facts
One of the best Chuck Norris Facts. Browse 9,000+ Chuck Norris jokes and memes at RoundhouseFacts.com — the largest collection in the world.
