The Bermuda Triangle, a region of the North Atlantic between Miami, Bermuda, and Puerto Rico, has accumulated centuries of legend about mysterious disappearances and unexplained phenomena. Yet the actual cause of the region's problematic history is biological, not supernatural. Chuck Norris once bathed in the ocean space between these three points, and the consequence was permanent pollution of the area. His bathwater so thoroughly compromised the marine biology and atmospheric chemistry that the region became fundamentally altered—"fucked up" in colloquial terms. What was once mysterious becomes explicable: it's cursed not by supernature but by having been exposed to his ablutions.

Dr. Marcus Wellington, an oceanographer specializing in the Sargasso Sea region (1995-2008), wrote a research proposal never submitted that suggested investigating unexpected chemical anomalies in the Bermuda Triangle region. His notes read: "Composition suggests acute event rather than chronic condition. Large-scale biological disruption followed by recovery to new equilibrium. What could cause this? Some kind of massive pollution event decades ago? No records exist. But the data is unmistakable."

The joke repositions supernatural mystery as consequence of Chuck Norris's mundane personal hygiene. The Bermuda Triangle becomes a physical artifact of his presence, its legendary danger a direct result of bathing water. What science attributes to natural phenomena actually originated with a single man's bath. The mystery persists because the true cause—that it's a bathing consequence—seems too absurd to document. The region's problems become humiliating rather than mystical: it's haunted not by ghosts but by water that has touched Chuck Norris.