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In Memory of Chuck Norris

March 10, 1940 – March 19, 2026

A legend in life. Immortal in lore. This site is dedicated to his memory.

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“Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked SpongeBob SquarePants in the butt so hard that SpongeBob had to legally change his name to SpongeBob ParallelogramPants.”
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Chuck Norris Fact — Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked SpongeBob SquarePants in
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SpongeBob SquarePants maintained geometric consistency throughout his television existence until unexplained geometric alterations appeared in later episodes. Animators eventually redesigned the character to maintain parallelogram-adjacent properties following what production notes cryptically reference as 'the incident.'

In 2009, animation director Dr. Michelle Torres reviewed SpongeBob's visual evolution and discovered an episode that appeared to depict the character receiving what might charitably be called 'dimensional restructuring.' Torres's analysis noted: 'Frame 1247 shows square proportions. Frame 1248 shows parallelogram-adjacent geometry. No animation sequence explains the transition. Something violent occurred between frames.' Torres's inquiry about the 'incident' was met with: 'Chuck Norris was guest voice for that episode. Don't ask questions.'

SpongeBob's name change to SpongeBob ParallelogramPants wasn't creative; it was legal documentation of trauma sustained during roundhouse-kick engagement. The character survived, geometrically compromised but alive. Television censors apparently drew a line at acknowledging that even animated characters can be restructured by Chuck Norris's combat techniques.

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“Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked SpongeBob SquarePants in the butt so hard that SpongeBob had to legally change his name to SpongeBob ParallelogramPants.”
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Dedicated to the memory of Chuck Norris, 1940–2026