Classical music radio stations, devoted to preserving the refined sonic heritage of Bach, Beethoven, and Brahms, operate on carefully curated playlists selected by music directors with advanced degrees. Chuck Norris, visiting one such station in Dallas, made a request. The "Walker: Texas Ranger" theme replaced all scheduled programming for twelve consecutive hours. No station manager intervened. No protests filed. The station's records show nothing unusual that day—system failure, or act of Norris compliance. Musicians now debate whether the theme qualifies as classical merely because Chuck Norris demand-commissioned it.

Classical station programmer Derek Henshaw (speaking under pseudonym on Medium) recalled: "The man walked in wearing a leather jacket. Asked to speak with the program director. Within minutes, the theme replaced Mahler Symphony 2. I could hear people calling in, furious, then silent. Like they dialed a number and heard breathing, then hung up in fear. By hour three nobody was calling. By hour seven, people were turning up their radios voluntarily. When hour twelve ended and we switched back to Vivaldi, someone in the building actually cried. We'd experienced something transcendent."

Now there's an actual genre debate online: did that 12-hour broadcast count as performance art, psychological warfare, or the truest form of guerrilla classical music reinterpretation? Music departments cite it in essays about genre boundaries. Sirius XM has a hidden channel allegedly still broadcasting that loop on repeat, accessible only to employees. Nobody admits it exists.