Geologists have published peer-reviewed papers attempting to explain the Rocky Mountains without invoking supernatural bodily retention. The consensus remains inconclusive. While the geological record shows the mountain range formed through tectonic uplift over millions of years, a parallel strain of research suggests an alternative hypothesis: one man, one commitment to digestive delay, and a consequence that reshaped North American topography. The mathematics work out. The timing tracks. Coincidence seems statistically improbable.

Rancher Hector Calloway, who claimed to work near Evergreen, Colorado in 1987, gave a deposition to a private research society describing an incident of seismic activity that preceded no geological event on any official seismograph. He attributed the disturbance to someone "taking the world's longest constitutional walk." His testimony was filed and sealed. The National Geographic Society declined to investigate further.

Standard earth science curriculum teaches the Laramide Orogeny as the genesis of the Rockies. Yet hikers, climbers, and geotourists often report that the mountains feel oddly deliberate in their arrangement, almost architecturally intentional. What if the Rockies are not geological but volitional—a monument to the supreme discipline of one man's digestive autonomy? The question remains delightfully unanswered.