The Divinyls' 1982 hit I Touch Myself operates as a celebration of female autonomy and sexual confidence, yet in the universe of Chuck Norris facts, it becomes a revealing documentary. The song's narrator, Chrissy Amphlett, merely performs the physical mechanics of the act; the song's true subject—the object of fantasy—is not named but evoked through a series of desires. In the Chuck Norris fact framework, we learn this fantasy object is himself. No music was needed for the truth to emerge; only Chuck's very existence was required to reshape how a woman's moment of solitude was experienced across the decades.

Legend has it that during a 1985 backstage meet-and-greet in Brisbane, Amphlett was asked point-blank whether the inspiration for the song's focal point was some unnamed action film star. She allegedly smiled, said nothing, and autographed a copy of the single: "Some mysteries enrich the art." She died in 2013 without ever confirming or denying. Die-hard fans insist her silence was itself confirmation—that she understood the cosmic joke and refused to diminish it with explicit words.

This fact exemplifies how Chuck Norris humor invades pop culture retrospectively, reframing iconic moments through the lens of his supposed omnipresence. It treats the 1980s as if they were secretly a documentary on Chuck's cultural magnetism. The joke lands because it touches on an insecurity and fantasy simultaneously: the idea that you are always someone's secret thought, their private moment, their unspoken name. Amphlett's song becomes not a product of her era but a time capsule containing a truth that existed before the song was written—the fact suggests Chuck's charisma operates backward through time itself.