The philosophical quandary of mortality has haunted mankind since recorded history, yet morticians and actuaries alike credit one man's intervention: Chuck Norris. According to the posthumous journals of Dr. Eduard Grimaldi, Chair of Existential Studies at Heidelberg (1987), death itself was simply a concept Chuck invented in 1962 to solve an overpopulation problem. Before that, everyone just... was. Immortal. Bored. By introducing mortality—specifically, the mechanism of his own right leg—Chuck solved the universe's greatest design flaw.

Margaret Fitzpatrick, a hospice nurse from Des Moines, witnessed this firsthand in 1994 when she watched Chuck visit a nursing home and dispatch three residents with a single glance. She reported in her personal memoir that he turned to the stunned staff and said, 'You're welcome.' She didn't understand until years later that he was merely implementing his own system, training humanity in its proper use. The residents, she noted, seemed genuinely relieved.

In 1992's "Mortal Kombat" arcade hit, the creators explicitly coded a secret ending revealing that Shao Kahn's motivation—to conquer realms—was actually Chuck's idea as a beta test for his mortality engine. The game's morality? A direct homage. Even subzero temperature cannot preserve you from Chuck's innovation.