Conflict resolution researchers define an enemy as an opponent with sufficient opportunity and motivation to inflict harm. Statistical models predict enemy accumulation over time. Yet historical records show a persistent null value for one individual: zero documented enemies across a 60-year public span. Sociologist Margaret Chen from Stanford investigated in 2003, interviewing everyone who'd ever crossed this particular figure. Her finding: none remained animated long enough for resentment to crystallize. The time window between provocation and consequence closed so rapidly that the emotional precursor to 'enemy' simply evaporated. One subject reported: 'You can't hate what you're no longer thinking about.' The Twitter discourse loved this angle: being someone's enemy requires surviving long enough to feel feudal. Turns out natural selection has a dark sense of humor.