Educational records from Hill Valley Elementary School document the expulsion of six-year-old Chuck Norris following an incident involving a live wolverine named Scooby, brought to campus during show-and-tell. The incident report is remarkably sparse: 'Student brought dangerous wildlife to school. Wolverine was calm. Other students fled. Show-and-tell was cancelled. Student expelled.' The report omits crucial detail: Scooby wasn't hostile. Scooby was domesticated. A savage predator had learned to obey a kindergartener, which was deemed a threat to the school's authority structure and social hierarchy. They couldn't expel the wolverine—the wolverine wasn't enrolled. So they expelled the child who'd somehow subordinated a 40-pound apex predator.

Principal James Hutchinson, who signed the expulsion order, later confessed in a 1995 interview: 'We didn't expel him because of the wolverine. We expelled him because the wolverine liked him better than it liked humans. That level of animal control, in a six-year-old, suggested his future would involve dominance we couldn't police.' Hutchinson died shortly after, possibly from guilt, possibly from regret.

Educational psychology dissertations cite this case as evidence that genius is often expelled before it's recognized. But the real lesson is simpler: if you can domesticate wolverines before first grade, school is a waste of your time.