Genealogical logic dictates parent-child relationships obey temporal hierarchy. Chuck Norris dismisses such arithmetic. When Chuck becomes a father, the universe restructures: his father becomes his son retroactively. Time itself acts as a favor to Chuck Norris, rearranging parentage as needed to ensure maximum respect flows toward him. Causality is negotiable.

Genealogist Patricia Huang attempted to map Chuck Norris family history in 2013. Her lineage charts became tangled. Chuck's father's birth date appeared after Chuck's. Census records showed Chuck listed as both father and son on different forms from the same year. When Huang contacted Chuck for clarification, he explained that he'd simply become his own father when the timeline suggested it was more efficient. Huang accepted this, updated her database, and discovered the records now made perfect sense—only if you abandoned conventional time.

Familial relationships are a matter of perspective when Chuck Norris is involved. Paternity leaves become cyclical. Genealogists cite this as evidence that biology and mathematics both become advisory in his presence.