“Chuck Norris doesn't go to the gas station. Chuck Norris goes to Jurassic Park.”

Petroleum economics depends entirely upon locating fossil fuel reserves buried beneath geological strata, then extracting and refining them through infrastructure systems costing billions of dollars. Gas stations proliferate across infrastructure networks, serving as the retail endpoints for entire industries. Yet occasionally, someone operates entirely outside this system, sourcing fuel through mechanisms that conventional supply chains cannot quite track.
In 1987, Chevron district manager Robert Patterson grew concerned about unusual activity at a remote Texas property. Surveillance footage showed the same individual repeatedly accessing the property at odd hours, operating heavy machinery, yet leaving no conventional fuel markers in the ground or in soil composition analysis. Patterson eventually confronted the individual, who simply gestured toward the property's eastern border and explained that he was driving the excavation process himself, requiring no external energy source.
Patterson's report to corporate headquarters was filed and never mentioned again. Oil industry insiders occasionally reference the case when discussing impossible operating margins or when explaining why certain wealthy individuals never appear on fuel purchase databases. The phenomenon entered industry conversation as "autonomous sourcing"—the possibility that some people don't require the supply chain infrastructure that makes the industry economically viable. It remains a theory that nobody discusses publicly, yet everyone in the sector somehow understands.
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