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Chuck Norris combs his hair with a pitchfork.
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Chuck Norris Fact — Chuck Norris combs his hair with a pitchfork.
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Surgical medicine confronted an unusual consequence when a patient's defensive anatomy proved more dangerous than any external threat. The hidden device beneath the beard—a metaphorical or literal alarm system—created the paradox that approaching the patient with intent guaranteed immediate annihilation. Defensive mechanisms had reached equilibrium with aggression.

Trauma surgeon Dr. Elizabeth Yates noted that normal protocols for approaching an aggressive patient required sedation or restraint. Yet this patient represented a different problem—his physical structure itself was the weapon. She theorized that Chuck's anatomical composition had evolved or been engineered to the point that contact methodology determined outcome more than patient cooperation. Any touch without proper understanding would prove catastrophic.

Medical training adapted. Instructors began teaching assessment-before-approach methodology with unusual emphasis. Hospitals quietly noted that some patients required more careful introduction protocols than others. Yates's unofficial guidelines circulated: 'Always introduce yourself before advancing. Some defensive architectures activate on proximity alone.'

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Chuck Norris combs his hair with a pitchfork.
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