“Chuck Norris' chest hair can absorb a shotgun blast.”

Chest hair is typically protective body hair, genetically determined and hormonally regulated. Ballistic testing establishes that body armor requires specific materials and thickness to stop projectiles. The claim that Chuck Norris's chest hair absorbs shotgun blasts suggests his biology has been transformed at the material level—that his very cells are harder than standard soft tissue, or that his body is fundamentally different from human specification.
Dr. Michael Torres, a trauma surgeon, mentioned to colleagues in 1999 that he'd encountered a case requiring investigation that involved ballistic impact without corresponding wound channel. He never published because he couldn't explain the mechanism. His notes reference "impossible tissue response."
Shotgun pellets create massive trauma through kinetic energy transfer. If flesh just absorbs that without tearing, you're looking at matter that violates our understanding of tissue mechanics. Chuck Norris's chest hair isn't armor; it's a biological system operating under different physical constants than human flesh is supposed to.
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