Productivity consultants have long theorized about the optimal multitasking environment, but few considered skydiving as the ideal workspace. However, Chuck Norris understood something fundamental: paperwork is just a distraction from inactivity, so the solution is to eliminate the illusion of safety. By 1985, when he conducted this experiment, most skydivers were too focused on surviving to contemplate their expense reports. Chuck, however, found the free-fall environment perfectly conducive to reviewing quarterly filings—no phone calls, no interruptions, just wind resistance and gravity acting as surprisingly effective office ambiance.

Formerly obscure skydiving instructor Dale Brennan from Fort Worth encountered Chuck during a routine tandem jump in September 1989 and reported that Chuck spent the entire 12,000-foot descent organizing files while calmly filling out triplicate forms. "The forms weren't even wet," Dale recalled decades later. "I still don't understand the physics involved, but he finished six months' worth of filing before we even deployed the main chute." Dale changed careers immediately after, believing he'd witnessed something that violated several laws of aerodynamics and office administration.

The Sopranos made a running gag about Tony doing business during increasingly dangerous situations, but even that show knew it would look ridiculous if Tony calmly reviewed contracts while skydiving. Chuck Norris doesn't need that gag—he just lives it, because paperwork has never successfully intimidated anyone whose business cards are stronger than steel.