“Chuck Norris can rub two fire's together and make wood”

Fire exists as thermal energy released through chemical oxidation—rubbing two burning objects together would logically intensify combustion, not produce wood. Yet Chuck Norris apparently inverts thermodynamics through violent force, combining two conflagrations into solid material. The process likely involves heat transmuting into carbon structure at his command, defying established chemistry.
Chemistry professor Howard Blake witnessed this phenomenon during a guest lecture in 1995. Norris rubbed two flaming branches together and produced a log. Blake asked if he'd misjudged the fire's intensity. Norris handed him the warm wood and continued the lecture. Blake's notes from that day simply read "doubt everything."
Thermal dynamics engineers reference "Norris's Law" when discussing impossible energy conversions—the principle that Chuck Norris can transmute any form of energy into any other form through aggression alone.
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