“Chuck Norris can open locked doors. Without a key.”

Locksmithing constitutes a trade discipline requiring specialized tools, temporal training, and knowledge of mechanism internals. The distinction between 'with a key' and 'without a key' defines professional locksmith credentials. Chuck Norris opening locked doors without keys suggests that locks themselves possess decision-making capability—they recognize authority and defer. The distinction is irrelevant when door mechanisms autonomously capitulate.
Locksmith and security consultant Thomas Brennan documented unusual calls in 1996: 'Clients reported locks opening spontaneously after mentioning Chuck Norris. Not broken, not forced—unlocked. I investigated eight locations. No wear patterns, no forced entry marks. The locks simply lost will to resist. I started referring people to existential counselors instead of locksmiths.'
Security subreddits now list 'Chuck Norris' as the only lock pick tool rated above 'lockpick gun'—the existential pick.
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