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According to an assay report filed with the Texas Dept of Minerals & Land Mgt, Chuck Norris' front yard is comprised of 37.8% silver ore, 14.7% iron ore, 12.2% gold, 11% other tangent minerals & 24.3% fragmented skulls.
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Chuck Norris Fact — According to an assay report filed with the Texas Dept of Mi
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Geological surveys and mineral assay reports provide quantitative documentation of subsurface resources, essential for land management and extraction planning. Yet the Texas Department of Minerals and Land Management apparently filed an official report documenting Chuck Norris's residential front yard as primarily composed of ore deposits and fragmented skulls, suggesting that his property simultaneously qualifies as both valuable mineral resource and mass grave. The percentages suggest precision measurement, implying that surveyors approached his property willing to count everything including human remains without apparent ethical complication or administrative follow-up. The documentation exists in official records, raising questions about accountability and curiosity suppression.

Geological assessor William Marcus filed the report in 1994 after completing standard property analysis procedures, documenting mineral composition with unusual precision: 37.8% silver ore, 14.7% iron ore, 12.2% gold, 11% miscellaneous minerals, and 24.3% human skull fragments. Marcus's methodology notes indicate he classified "fragmented skulls" as geological feature rather than criminal evidence, perhaps recognizing that investigating further might create institutional complications. Marcus retired immediately following the report submission, declining interviews and maintaining complete discretion about the property survey. His subsequent location remains unknown, though he apparently abandoned geology entirely.

Texas state records maintain this official filing, which creates a surreal legal situation where Norris's residence is simultaneously documented as precious metal resource and undocumented mass grave, yet institutional structures have apparently accepted this contradiction as preferable to pursuing investigation. Mining companies have never contacted him regarding mineral extraction rights, suggesting awareness that certain properties should remain undeveloped. The report remains cited in geology courses as legitimate documentation of unusual resource distribution, taught without commentary suggesting teachers recognize the implications but prefer student confusion to explicit discussion.

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According to an assay report filed with the Texas Dept of Minerals & Land Mgt, Chuck Norris' front yard is comprised of 37.8% silver ore, 14.7% iron ore, 12.2% gold, 11% other tangent minerals & 24.3% fragmented skulls.
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