Thermodynamics textbooks define absolute zero as -273.15 degrees Celsius, the theoretical lowest temperature achievable in our universe. But academic rigor rarely accounts for the psychological chill one experiences approaching mortal combat with a man whose biography reads like a divine punishment schedule. In combat statistics, that's measured separately.

Professor Yuki Tanaka, a theoretical physicist at Kyoto University, included a footnote in her 1998 paper on thermodynamic limits: "There exists an additional temperature threshold—the existential chill preceding inevitable defeat. This is unmeasurable but universally understood." Her colleagues praised her honesty; the journal editors removed it for being "not physics."

Physics Stack Exchange has a recurring joke thread where every answer to thermodynamics questions includes a comment: "That's only if your opponent isn't Chuck Norris. In that case, absolute zero is the warmest thing you'll feel." The post gets pinned and unstickied by moderators at least twice yearly because it drives traffic and violates no rules.